Thursday, February 18, 2010

Baby steps...

I'm at the start, the BEGINning (ha ha ha *snort* - sorry, a little joke), the cusp of change.

I've done a lot of things in my life out of routine, just sat back and let autopilot take charge. Recently, however, I've been asked "Why?" a bazillion times. That's honestly J's favorite word now.

"Why you work, Mommy?"
"Why Meeko [our cat] no eat cheerios, Mommy?"
"Why no eat chocolate before breakfast, Mommy?"

Some of them are easy questions to answer,

"I work to make money. I make money to buy food and clothes and pay for our home."
"Meeko doesn't like cheerios."
"You can't have chocolate before breakfast because you'll spoil your meal. Breakfast first and then chocolate." (unless Mommy is PMSing and then it's an all day chocolate fest. But only for Mommy. Not you. Forget I said anything. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Nevermind.)

But some of them have been harder, like why Mommy doesn't have the same *ahem* equipment as J does (that's just something I'm not ready to get into QUITE yet), or why Mommy goes to church.

All this answering "Why" has prompted me to think about that, myself.

I've started to look at why I do the things I do. Why I believe the things I believe, and how the 2 affect each other.

My questioning has come up at an interesting time on my religion's calendar, as well. We've just started Lent.

For 40 days, in addition to giving something up (meat), I'm also going to try to be a better person and question what that means. I'm going to try and live a little simpler (passing on seconds, try to buy less stuff, get rid of the stuff I don't need) try to be a little nicer (give to charity more, not let my temper get the better of me, spend more time with family and less time online), and look at my core beliefs (this kinda goes along with "being nicer" and "living simply": Do the things I do and the things I support reflect what I believe? Are my actions conducive to what I want to be?)

So yeah. Deep stuff. But as I said, I'm just starting out... This is bound to be a long journey (probably longer than the 40 days of lent!)

Then again, I might reach Easter, have a burger, kick my neighbour and go buy a Ferrari!

Who knows, I'm just crazy like that ;)

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